Conan’s Wild Tap-Tap Ride – CONAN on TBS
Probably the most common form of transportation in Haiti is the tap-tap, and this is– Jean Louis.
Jean Louis! Jean Louis,
That’s a great name. It is, thank you. Jean Louis.
Jean Louis. I wish my name was Jean Louis! In the United States we’d call this a cab, here you call it tap-tap.
Okay. And so they just tap on the side of a vehicle, is that right?
Exactly. When someone reach, just tap you, bam bam! Stop.
You stop. But usually, we have somebody with me to collect the money. Well I can collect the money, I’m with you. Yeah, but–
You don’t trust me? I trust you. I’m with you, I’ll count the money. What if I take more than my share? Well, that’s between you and your conscience. Because if you ride with me, I’m supposed to trust you. Yeah, sure, you trust me. You know I’m an entertainer in my country. Entertainer, what that mean? It means that I bring delight and joy to an entire nation. Okay.
Some say, the world. Okay.
Whoa! Hey, what do I say to him? Tried to hit us.
Look at that! That was crazy, what do I yell at people? That’s how they drive. What do you yell at people in Haiti when they– (speaking Haitian Creole) What does that mean?
That mean you crazy. Crazy, (speaking Haitian Creole)! Yeah, (speaking Haitian Creole). Are you married?
Yeah, I’m married. I have eight children.
You have eight children? Yes, sir.
Oh my God! My God. But they cost too much.
How do you have time to ride the tap-tap? Well, I’m–
With all the tap-tappin’ you been doin’, that’s ridiculous. It is. You (speaking Haitian Creole)! You (speaking Haitian Creole)! Was that it? Yeah.
You have snacks here, I notice, speaking of hungry; what are these? This is the most generic, look at this. It says Snacks.
Snacks. That’s right, that’s fast food. We gotta get some business here, we’re not… I was just playin’ up. We’re not makin’ any business. No. I’m gonna get in back and try and get us some business. Okay, we’ve had no luck picking up anyone. I think something about me looks untrustworthy here in Haiti, so now I have a sign that says (speaking Haitian Creole) which means would you like a free ride? (speaking Haitian Creole) Want a free ride, free ride? (audience laughing)
(speaking Haitian Creole) Want a free ride, free ride? Yeah, come on in, yes! Hey, how are you? Speak some English? Little bit.
Little bit? What’s your name? Giovanni.
Giovanni. You live in Haiti. Yes, I do.
Would you like a free ride? I don’t care, we’ll take you to your house. We’ll take you to your house, don’t worry. we’ll take you to your house. How close is your house?
It’s right there. So we’re headed the wrong way from your house. (speaking Haitian Creole)
(horn honks) It’s free, it’s free.
(speaking Haitian Creole) Come on in. Come on in, yes. [Passenger] Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you okay? You okay? Hello, hello.
Okay. Bon soir.
Bon soir. So what do you do? I’m a mid-term laywer.
Yeah. Team Coco, Team Coco.
Hey, Team Coco! He knows Team Coco! He knows Team Coco, that’s crazy! That’s fantastic, thank you. Now what does coco mean? Someone told me it doesn’t mean… (laughing)
What does coco mean in Haiti? The what? The woman, the what? Coco means vagina in Haiti?
Yes. No, is that our car? Do you smell that? I think we’re burning out our transmission. Yeah.
(horn honking) We’re getting there.
(honking) Okay, here’s what’s goin’ on. Our tap-tap died. Now we’re stuck up against this car. Hold on. That was our driver. Okay, I don’t want anyone to panic, but our driver just went that way. (banging)
(exclaiming) (banging) (rumbling) Everyone seems cool. In the United States, everybody would be suing everybody. 35 lawsuits, at least. Here, people are like, this is life. We’re gonna deal with it, we’re gonna get through it. Okay. Everyone’s getting out of my tap-tap because the clutch burnt out on this hill. I apologize, I’m gonna get you home. (speaking Haitian Creole) I’m gonna get you home. But I wannna thank you for being such a supporter– No problem.
Of mine, and I’m… I picked that tap-tap, I wanna thank you by giving you this Team Coco shirt. You all know what that means, right?