Big Baby (Full Movie) Family comedy

By Grover Koelpin 100 comments


[UPBEAT STEEL DRUM MUSIC] ♪ ♪ OH… HELLO, MY LITTLE FRIENDS. PERFECTAMENTE! HISTORY WILL
BE MADE TODAY. [LAUGHTER] WHERE ARE YOU,
YOU LITTLE BUGGER? OH, THERE YOU ARE. MAGNIFICENT. PERFECTO. WHAT THE? DAD? DAD? MOM, CAN YOU
MAKE ME EGGS? AND CAN I HAVE
MINE SCRAMBLED? NO, ACTUALLY AN OMELETTE,
BUT WITH BACON THIS TIME. YOU FORGOT YESTERDAY. OH! WOULD YOU LIKE TO DINE
IN HERE OR ON THE VERANDA? OH, THAT’S A TOUGH
ONE… VERANDA. THEN DO IT YOURSELF. YOU ARE QUITE CAPABLE OF
MAKING YOUR OWN EGGS. BUT, I SLEPT ON
MY ARM FUNNY. OH, YOUR ARM
LOOKS FINE. BUT THIS IS MY
SCRAMBLING ARM. CUTE, NO SALE. GRANDPA DOING
SOME GARDENING? YEAH, IT’S LIKE HAVING
THREE KIDS IN THE HOUSE. YOU DO HAVE THREE KIDS. THE EXPRESSION
SHOULD BE FOUR. I DON’T COUNT. YOU’RE A KID! TECHNICALLY… TECHNICALLY? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? ARE YOU SAYING
YOU’RE LUMPING ME WITH GRANDPA AND BOBBY? JASON IS JUST A LITTLE
MORE MATURE THAN YOU. [SCOFF]
THAT’S A LAUGH. I’M LAUGHING. GIRLS MATURE
FASTER THAN BOYS. I KNOW, I CAN’T QUITE
FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED. [SCOFFS] I’M NOT JUST GONNA
STAND HERE AND TAKE THIS. I AM MATURE! IT’S ALL OVER ME!
CAN’T YOU SEE IT? NO!
-NO? NOT SEEING IT. I’VE NEVER BEEN
SO OFFENDED. THAT’S WHAT SHE
SAID THE LAST TIME. TYPICAL. ANYTIME TODAY! DAD, BOBBY’S
HOGGING THE DOG! LAUGH IT UP NOW, BOBBY,
BUT YOU WON’T BE TWO FOREVER. YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO TO
THE BATHROOM ALL ON YOUR OWN AND IT’S JUST
AROUND THE CORNER! AVERY, BE NICE
TO YOUR BROTHER. MOM SAYS JASON IS
MORE MATURE THAN ME, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? RIDICULOUS RIGHT? OKAY, A LITTLE TEST.
YOU UP FOR A LITTLE TEST? SURE. CLEANED YOUR ROOM? NO, IT’S NOT SPRING. HOW ABOUT YOUR HOMEWORK? NO, I’M STRIKING
AGAINST HOMEWORK. OH, REALLY? WE PAY THESE
TEACHERS TO TEACH US. WHY CAN’T THE WORK
BE FINISHED IN CLASS? IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT THEY’RE
LAZY AND CAN’T FINISH ON TIME. DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE
THAT IN YOUR WORLD? YES, YES, I DO. WHEN I’M HOME, I SHOULD BE
KICKIN’ BACK AND LISTENING TO ONE DIRECTION. HONEY, I’M WORRIED THAT
YOU’RE GETTING OLDER AND YOU REALLY HAVEN’T FIGURED
OUT THAT YOU ARE ALMOST AN ADULT. WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE? OH, I GOT THAT COVERED. I’M GONNA MARRY RICH, BUT NOT A FAT GUY. SOMEONE WHO TRAVELS AND
DOES SECRET MISSIONS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND I’LL GET
TO STAY IN KILLER HOTELS. YOU’RE TALKING
ABOUT JAMES BOND AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T GO WITH
HIM WHEN HE SAVES THE WORLD. I’M PRETTY SURE HE
DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A WIFE. WELL, THEN I’LL HAVE TO
READ HIM THE RIOT ACT. OKAY. [MELLOW MUSIC] ♪ ♪ YOU UNDERSTAND ME
RIGHT, BARKLEY? [BURPS] I DON’T KNOW IF THAT WAS A GOOD
THING OR A VERY BAD THING. [RUSTLING] OAFF. THE BOSS WANTS TO SEE YOU. MR. UNDERBRUNTER! OH, THANK YOU, JULIE. YOU’RE WELCOME. OH,
ABOUT TONIGHT, I– [STAMMERING]
NOT NOW. SORRY. GOOD WORKER. NOW, LISTEN. YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR
NAME REMINDS ME OF? TECHNICALLY, IT’S
GERMAN FOR DORK. DORK, HUH? THAT FITS! THAT
ACTUALLY FITS! THEY CAUGHT YOU STICKING YOUR
HAND IN THE TOYS FOR TOTS BIN. NO, NO, NO, YOU’RE NOT A
TOT, YOU’RE NOT A TOT. UH, WHAT? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? NO, SIR, CLEARLY
THAT WASN’T ME. NO, IT IS YOU! I HAVE
PICTURES OF YOU DOING IT AND NOW I HAVE
TO FIRE YOU! NO, NO, SIR. YEAH, YOU HAVE TO GO. YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR
BOX AND YOU HAVE TO GO. SO, IS THIS THE POINT
WHERE SECURITY COMES AND ESCORTS ME OUT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO… SECURITY HAS A LOT MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN TO ESCORT YOU OUT. MY LEFT FOOT IS GOING
TO ESCORT YOU OUT. SO, GO GET YOUR BOX OF
STUFF THAT YOU HAVEN’T STOLEN AND LEAVE. GOT IT, SIR. UH,
JUST BEFORE I GO, MAY I JUST SAY YOU HAVE
NEVER LOOKED BETTER. THAT SUIT IS QUITE SLIMMING,
QUITE STRIKING. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, SIR. THAT’S VER–
[SQUISHING] [DEEP SIGH] SOME MAIL CAME FOR YOU. WHAT IS IT? PREP COURSE FOR THE PSAT. JUST THINK, YOU’LL BE GOING TO
COLLEGE IN THREE YEARS TIME. [DRAMATIC MUSIC] ♪ ♪ [CLAPPING] THANK YOU, THANK… THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO, THANK YOU… THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
THAT THAT KIND WELCOME. YOU KNOW, MOST OF YOU KNOW
FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS, I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A
SECRET PROJECT THAT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE SEVERAL
INDUSTRIES IN ONE FELL SOUP… SLOOP. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I GIVE YOU, ADVANCEIUM. [FUTURISTIC MUSIC] WITH ADVANCEIUM, WE WILL
HAVE THE FREEDOM TO SPEED UP MOLECULES IN TIME BY
CREATING A TINY WARP FIELD. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? [MIXED CHATTER] OKAY, FOR THE PURPOSES
OF THIS DEMONSTRATION, THIS SEED FROM MY
BACKYARD I PLACE THUSLY INTO THE ADVANCEIUM
WAVEMASTER 7.0. LEAN BACK AND BE
PREPARED TO BE AMAZED. ONE, TWO, THREE! [WHIRLING] YES! YES! IT WORKS! IT WORKS! BEHOLD, ADVANCEIUM! OH, IT WORKS! WE CAN NOW TURN A SIMPLE
SEED INTO A FLOWER. THINK OF IT, IT WILL
REVOLUTIONIZE THE POULTRY INDUSTRY FOR YEARS TO COME. HOW LONG DOES THIS
STAY IN EFFECT? WHAT? HOW LONG DOES THIS
STAY IN EFFECT? THANK YOU FOR ASKING. THE ANSWER? PERMANENTLY! THAT DEVICE IS
WORTH BILLIONS. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO’D KILL
TO GET THEIR HANDS ON IT. YOU WORK HERE? I’M UPSTAIRS ON
THE TOP FLOOR. I OWN THE BUILDING. IT’S BRILLIANT,
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! YOU ARE GONNA MAKE
ME BUCKETS OF MONEY. YOU’RE GONNA MAKE
BUCKETS OF MONEY, TOO. YOU ARE GONNA
MAKE MILLIONS. AND I THINK GLUTTON AND GLUTTON
AND SLOTH WANNA WORK WITH YOU. WHA… YOU WANNA BUY IT? MILLIONS IS JUST GONNA
BE THE DOWN PAYMENT. YOU’RE GOING TO BE FAMOUS
AND RICH AND YOU’RE GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZE
THE WORLD. WELL! LET ME PACK UP. COME TO PAPA. HEY! DIDN’T I FIRE YOU? YES, YOU DID. WELL, YOU’RE STILL FIRED. GREAT. WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT A MINUTE! THAT’S MY WALLET. YEAH, AND YOU’RE CREDIT
CARD IS EXPIRED. OAFF. NOW I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. [COUGHING] OW! OW! OW! OOH, SMELLS GOOD, HERBY. SIMON, HOW’D
YOUR MEETING GO? TOP SECRET. BUT WHAT IS IN THIS
BAG IS OUR FUTURE. OUR FUTURE IS IN HAM,
IT’S OUR BUSINESS. IT’S WHAT PAID
FOR THIS HOUSE. BESIDES, YOU’VE BEEN
OFFERED A FORTUNE BEFORE. YEAH, HEY, BUT I DIDN’T
KNOW THE GUY WAS CRAZY AND DIDN’T HAVE ANY MONEY. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
WHEN YOU PICKED UP THE BILL FOR LUNCH. WELL, THIS TIME
IT’S GONNA WORK. DAD, I THINK YOU’RE BEING
A LITTLE HARD ON GRANDPA. HE’S A DREAMER. DREAMS ARE JUST THAT. THEY DON’T PUT
FOOD ON THE TABLE. HEY, HERE! PUT THIS
FOOD ON THE TABLE. [SOFT MUSIC] NIGHT, AVERY. GRANDPA? I CAN’T SLEEP. WHAT’S THE MATTER? I DON’T KNOW. CAN I HELP? WELL, YOU COULD TELL
ME A BEDTIME STORY. [SIGHS] SWEETHEART, I PROMISED YOUR MOM
I WOULDN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. I WON’T SAY ANYTHING. AREN’T YOU A
LITTLE TOO OLD? I’M NEVER TOO OLD. TELL THE BIG BABY ONE. OKAY, THIS ONE TIME. ALRIGHT, SCOOT-SCOOT OVER. ALRIGHT, YOU START. ONCE UPON A TIME… EXACTLY, THERE WAS,
NO KIDDING, AN EIGHT HUNDRED POUND BABY AND IT’S PARENTS WANTED
TO GO OUT FOR DINNER. SO THEY HIRED A BABYSITTER,
BUT WHEN THE BABYSITTER CAME AND SAW, PHEW, THE BIG
BABY SHE WASN’T SURE SHE COULD HANDLE IT. HOWEVER, THE PARENTS
OFFERED THE BABYSITTER… EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS,
A DOLLAR FOR EVERY POUND. AN EXCELLENT DEAL. SO THE BABYSITTER
AGREED TO BABYSIT AND THE PARENTS WENT OUT. WELL, PRETTY SOON IT WAS
TIME TO FEED THE BIG BABY AND THIS BABY GOBBLED DOWN
FORTY BOWLS OF OATMEAL, ATE SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, WASHED IT DOWN WITH TWO
KEGS OF MILK IN A SIPPY CUP THE SIZE OF A SMART CAR. AND THEN, WOULD YOU– [SNORING] MATH RULES! JASON, HAS ANYONE
EVER TOLD YOU YOU’RE AN EIGHTY YEAR OLD MAN? EIGHTY? IN ACCUMULATED KNOWLEDGE? PROBABLY, YES. THANK YOU. AND THIS INTEGER
IS… AH, YES! NERD. NERDS WILL
INHERIT THE EARTH. NICE GLASSES. THANK YOU! I PICKED
THEM OUT MYSELF. YEAH, SUPER CUTE. YEAH, I KNOW! I’M THE COOLEST
KID IN SCHOOL. HONEY, IT’S A DAY TRIP,
NOT A TRIP TO OUTER SPACE. YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN. WE’RE GOING CLAM
HUNTING IN VENTURA. IT COULD BE A
FORMAL CLAM HUNT. THEY DON’T HAVE FORMAL
CLAM HUNTS AND BESIDES, HIGH HEELS ARE NOT EXACTLY THE
FASHIONABLE CHOICE FOR THE SAND. I THOUGHT WE MIGHT
WANT GO OUT TO DINNER. YEAH, THE RUSTY SCUPPER. OH, PLEASE! I AM NOT GOING
TO A RESTAURANT WHERE THE WAITERS DRESS UP LIKE
PIRATES AND ASK, ARGH YA READY TO ORDER? IT’S JEAN PAUL’S
OR NOTHING. IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE. I’M WORTH IT. I’M WORTH IT. YOU’RE RIGHT.
DON’T HURT ME. HOTEL LOBBY MIGHT
HAVE VENDING MACHINES. OH PLEASE!
-I’M JUST! I’M JUST! ALRIGHT, LOOK OKAY.
-CAN YOU HELP ME? YES. HERE.
-I’M SO EXCITED. SO EXCITED TO
GET OUT OF HERE. WHAT’D YOU PUT IN HERE? COME ON.
[GRUNTING] OH, COME ON, IT’S
NOT THAT HEAVY. YEAH, IT KINDA IS. YOU’RE FAKING IT! I AM NOT! YES, YOU ARE! YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL ME. OH, PLEASE. I ACTUALLY DID PUT A
COUPLE EXTRA OUTFITS IN FOR YOU IN MINE. BYE, SWEETHEART.
DON’T DO ANYTHING CRAZY. BYE, HONEY.
-BYE. BEHAVE.
-OKAY. DON’T GIVE GRANDPA A HEADACHE AND PLEASE TELL
JASON TO WATCH BOBBY. OKAY.
-OKAY. BYE.
-BYE. ASK JASON TO WATCH BOBBY? [SCOFFS]
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? WHEN I SELL YOU, I AM
GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUY… DISNEY WORLD! [LAUGHS] AH, PERFECTO. [CHEERY MUSIC] ♪ ♪ STUPID. SUCH A MORON. TAKE EVERYTHING OUT. [DOOR HANDLE JIGGLING] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] AH!
-AH! AH!
-AH! YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING
LIKE A LITTLE CHILD? SORRY, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A ZOMBIE. THERE’S NO SUCH
THING AS ZOMBIES. RIGHT, I FORGOT. HEY, WHAT’S THIS? WE’RE DONE. YOU’RE OUT. NO! NO, NO, NO, NO,
BABY, YOU CAN’T! OH, BUT I CAN. NO, NO, NO, NO!
WAIT, NO! WATCH ME. NO, LISTEN TO ME. REMEMBER THAT SUPER SECRET
PROJECT THEY’VE BEEN WORKING ON AT WORK? YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT? IT WORKS. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? I STOLE IT OFF THE
COMPUTER AT WORK. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. I KNOW AND IT’S
GOING TO BE OURS. THIS IS WORTH A FORTUNE. YES, AND I ALREADY
HAVE A BUYER FOR IT. SO CAN I STAY? YES. CAN I HAVE A KISS? MMM… UGH! [GAGGING] UGH, YOU FINALLY DID
SOMETHING RIGHT. THAT WAS SO ROMANTIC. IT WAS LIKE THE FIRST TIME
I HELD A NEW BORN BABY AND IT LOOKED AT ME AND SAID,
“PAPA,” AND I SAID, “I’M NOT YOUR PAPA,
I’M JUST YOUR NEIGHBOR.” CALAMITY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LOOKING FOR A NEW DRESS. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PART
WHERE YOU PUSH THE DOORBELL AND SAY, “CAN I COME IN”? IT’S KINDA OLD,
DON’T YOU THINK? AND WHO SAID YOU COULD
BORROW MY CLOTHES? I TEXTED YOU LAST NIGHT,
“CAN I BORROW SOME CLOTHES?” AND I DIDN’T RESPOND. I TOOK THAT AS A YES. IT WAS A NO. WHAT’S THIS ABOUT? IS IT ABOUT A BOY? MORE ABOUT A
BIKE THAN A BOY. WHAT? OKAY, YOU KNOW HOW MY
BIKE GOT STOLEN RIGHT? OKAY, SO THERE’S THIS
KID NAMED BARNEY AND HE HAS
AN EXTRA BIKE SO I’M GOING TO CUTE
MYSELF UP AND TALK HIM INTO FORKING IT OVER. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. YOU KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH RIGHT AND WRONG. WHAT’S THE ISSUE? KINDA CAN’T TELL
THE DIFFERENCE. WHY ARE YOU SO GLOOMY? THE FAMILY’S BEATING ME
UP ABOUT NOT BEING MATURE. YOU KNOW, MAYBE I
NEED A MAKEOVER? NOW YOU’RE TALKING, AND
YOU ARE IN PERFECT HANDS. WHOSE? MINE. I’M GOING TO MOLD YOU
TO YOUR WOMANLINESS. [UPBEAT MUSIC] ♪ ♪ DON’T MOVE. OKAY. IT’S JUST A CURLING IRON, ‘KAY? YEAH, AND IT’S TOTALLY FINE. AND OH, LOOK,
LOOK AT THAT! OH, IT’S ON YOUR EYE AND
IT IS GOING ON YOUR EYE. YOU NEED TO BE… EVENTUALLY. YUP. SOME LIPS. UGH, IT TASTES SO BAD. IT’S GOOD! YEAH!
[GIGGLES] YOU LOOK AMAZING. YEAH. YOU OKAY? I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN. YEAH, YOU DO. I, I CAN’T TAKE IT. JUST GO WITH IT, JUST
SAY, “HOW DO YOU DO?” “HOW DO YOU DO?” I’LL TAKE A BRIOCHE
WITH MY GOUDA. “I’LL TAKE A BRIOCHE
WITH MY GOUDA.” OH, ROGER, WHAT CHARMING,
WONDERFUL THINGS YOU SAY! WE MUST, MUST GO TO THE
POLO RACES AND AFTER WE’LL DINE WITH THE ROCKEFELLERS,
AND TO TOP IT OFF, WE’LL MAKE LIGHT OF THE
KARDASHIANS ENORMOUS REAR ENDS. THAT WOMAN NEEDS A SIGN
‘WIDE LOAD’ ON THE BACK OF HER CAR. THIS ISN’T HELPING. IT’S ALL GONE SO FAST. WHAT HAS? CHILDHOOD. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU NEED A SHOCK
TO YOUR SYSTEM. YOU KNOW HOW MY DAD
TAUGHT ME HOW TO SWIM? HOW? HE THREW ME IN A POOL. AND YOU SWAM? YUP, FROM NOW ON HE ONLY
HAS SUPERVISED VISITATION. OH.
-YEAH, OH. [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING] CRASH BANDICOOT
RACING, REALLY? RED’S GOT A POINT.
IT IS A LITTLE PRESCHOOL. IT’S A BLAST
FROM THE PAST. I GOTTA CUT THE HEDGES,
KEEP AN EYE ON BOBBY. I’LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. YOU BETTER. [UPBEAT MUSIC] ♪ ♪ OKAY, IT IS TEN A.M. AND THE ADVANCIUM
IS READY TO GO. ALTHOUGH IT’S EMITTING
A STRANGE SMELL. THIS BARES FURTHER
INVESTIGATION. UH, UH, SCRATCH THAT THE
SMELL IS EMANATING FROM THE RESEARCHER. I HAVEN’T HAD A
BATH IN TEN DAYS. NO! I AM NOT GOING TO
PLAY OPERATION WITH YOU! OKAY, AND IF YOU EVEN MENTION
LEGOS, I WILL BREAK YOUR FINGER OFF AND ATTACH
THEM TO THE LEGOS. OH-WE-OH! WHAT, YOU WANT SOME ROMANCE
GAME WHERE THE KNIGHT SAVES THE PRINCESS? SORT OF, BUT THE KNIGHT
HAS TO PULVERIZE THE DRAGON WITH PHASED PULSE
CANNON AND THE PRINCESS CANNOT BE WEARING A WHITE
FLOWING GOWN OR SOMETHING. SHE HAS TO BE LIKE CAT
WOMAN WITH TURBO JETS THAT ARE HIGH HEELS. YEAH, WE’RE AT AN IMPASSE. OH, NEW HIGH SCORE! [HIGH FIVE]
LET’S PLAY AGAIN! [FOOTSTEPS] EW. LOOK AT MY BROTHER,
MR. PERFECT. HE’S ALWAYS TRYING
TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD. IT’S NOT HIM, IT’S YOU. EXCUSE ME? DOESN’T IT BOTHER YOU THAT
YOU PARENTS RELY ON YOUR LITTLE BROTHER OVER YOU? IT BURNS ME EVERY TIME,
LIKE I’M A HAPLESS FOOL WHO CAN’T TAKE CARE
OF A LITTLE BROTHER. DO I LOOK LIKE
A HAPLESS FOOL? THEY’RE RIGHT,
WHERE IS HE? UH, BOBBY? BOBBY?
-BOBBY? BOBBY!
-BOBBY. WHAT’S GOING ON? GRANDPA!
-BOBBY… BOBBY, NO! BOBBY!
-NO, NO, NO! NO! NO! OH, THIS IS NOT GONNA GO WELL. RIGHT. THAT KID HAS THE DEVICE. BOBBY! COME ON. COME ON!
LET’S GO! [DEVICE ACTIVATING] [DEVICE OPERATING] JASON. IT WORKS. I KNOW, ISN’T IT AMAZING? WHAT’S AMAZING IS THAT YOU
ACTUALLY STUMBLED ONTO SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE. YOU’RE CALLING ME AMAZING? NO, I’M JUST SAYING THAT
BECAUSE YOU’RE GENERALLY AN IRON PLATED LOSER. ALRIGHT. I’M ASSUMING YOU ALL
HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. OF COURSE WE
HAVE QUESTIONS! [MIXED CHATTER] WE’RE SCREWED!
-NO, NO, NO, WE’RE NOT! IT’S JUST A LITTLE
INCONVENIENCE. HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? WE’LL JUST GRAB HIM. BUT THAT’S KIDNAPPING! URGH! YOU REALLY DO HAVE
ROAD APPLES FOR BRAINS! HE’S A MAN! IF ANYTHING IT’S
MAN-NAPPING. VERY UH, LIGHT
SENTENCE FOR THAT. REALLY? OW!
-SMALL SLAP ON THE WRIST. BESIDE, WE UH, WE GRAB HIM,
TAKE THAT THING OFF, SELL IT AND JUST
SEND HIM BACK. GREAT. OKAY.
-WHEN DO WE DO THAT? WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR AN OPPORTUNITY. [MIXED CHATTER]
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. SO, I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON
A MATTER ADVANCER AND IT SEEMS BOBBY GOT ADVANCED. HIS MIND, TOO? ICE CREAM. THAT’S A SOLID NO. UGH…
-TURN HIM BACK! OKAY, EXCELLENT SUGGESTION,
THE PROBLEM IS I’VE NEVER DONE THIS TO A HUMAN BEING
BEFORE AND THERE COULD BE UNFORESEEN SIDE EFFECTS. WELL, AT LEAST TAKE
THE THING OFF OF HIM. GOOD IDEA AGAIN, IT’S JUST
THAT UM, THAT THING HAS BEEN STRETCHED AROUND HIS
ARM AND IF I’M NOT CAREFUL I CAN DAMAGE THE MACHINE
AND THEN NOT BE ABLE TO TURN HIM BACK. OH MY GOD. YEAH, I’M SORRY
ABOUT THIS GUYS. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS
WATCH HIM FOR TEN MINUTES AND HE’S TURNED
INTO A MAN! GUYS, I KNOW THIS MUST
BE A BIT SURPRISING. I HAVE TO CALL MOM. AND TELL HER WHAT?
LITTLE BOBBY’S MOLECULES HAVE BEEN ACCELERATED
TO AGE THIRTY? THEN WHAT ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO? ALRIGHT, GUYS, GUYS,
CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS REVIEW MY NOTES AND FOLLOW MY PROPER
PROTOCOL AND THEN I’LL BE ABLE TO REVERSE HIM
TO HIS PROPER SIZE. SO WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? JASON, I JUST HAVE TO LOOK
OVER MY FORMULA AND THEN WE WILL TURN HIM
BACK IN A JIFFY! BUT WHAT ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO? AH, WELL…
UM… OKAY! WE DON’T WANT HIM
TO CATCH A COLD. JASON TO THE CAR AND
GET SOME CLOTHES. YEAH, CLOTHES ARE
DEFINITELY THE FIRST ORDER. THAT NEEDS SOME WORK. YES. GO, GO! HURRY BACK! GOD. THAT’S GROSS. [YELLING] [MUMBLING]
OH WOW! OKAY, BOBBY, YOU NEED TO
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. BOBBY GOT BIG. YEAH, HE DID. AH, SHOES. OKAY, THERE ARE SHIRTS,
PANTS, SHOES JUST… YOU NEED TO CHANGE. DRESS ME. OKAY, THIS IS A WHOLE
BIG BOWL OF AWKWARD. DRESS ME. HA, YOU’RE A BIG BOY. DRESS ME. DRESS ME, DRESS ME!
-OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. IS IT JUST ME OR ARE WE
PUSHING THE LEVELS OF WEIRD TO A NEW
HEIGHT HERE? EW… NO! [BOBBY FARTS]
I MADE A STINKY. AND THEY’VE BEEN
TOPPED AGAIN. GRANDPA.
-YEAH. BOBBY NEEDS HIS
CLOTHES CHANGED. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE’S A
LEFT A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YA. OH, THAT’S CONSIDERATE. UH, OKAY. ALRIGHT,
GUYS OVER HERE. TURN AROUND AND UH, I WILL,
UH, I’LL TEND TO THIS. COME ON. COME ON, BOBBY. YEAH, BOBBY.
COME ON, COME ON. THAT’S A GOOD BOY. RIGHT OVER HERE.
YEAH, YEAH. COME ON, THAT’S IT. WEE! ALRIGHT, EXCELLENT. YEAH. OH, THIS IS NOT A GRANDPA JOB.
[CHUCKLING] OKAY, ALRIGHT! OKAY, BOBBY, NOW WE’RE
GOING TO PUT YOUR PANTS ON. NO.
-YEAH. NO. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] HEY, BOBBY! [INDISTINCT CHATTER] BOBBY, BOBBY, BOBBY!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK… IF YOU PUT YOUR PANTS ON,
I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A CANDY BAR. LOOK AT THAT.
-AHHH, MINE! WHOA, WHOA, HEY!
COME ON, BOBBY, BOBBY. PUT YOUR PANTS ON. NO. THAT’S IT, THERE. AH, OKAY, AH. EASY PEASY. UH, GRANDPA, IS THAT
POO ON YOUR HEAD? WHAT? I’M GONNA BE SICK. EATING POO!
HE’S EATING POO! IT’S A CHOCOLATE BAR. YOU’RE SO EXCITABLE. GRANDPA, WHAT ARE
WE GOING TO DO? WELL, THIS IS THIS
IS VERY COMPLICATED, BUT ALRIGHT. I’M GOING BACK TO THE LAB
TO GET THE REVERSAL– STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER! YOU GET BOBBY. COME ON. UGH! BOBBY!
-BOBBY! GET OVER HERE YOU! [UPBEAT STEEL DRUM MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GOOD JOB, KEEP IT UP. IS THAT A CLEAN FORK? UH… CAKE, MOVE! WEE! GIVE ME THE CAKE! NO! [YELLING] GIVE ME THAT CAKE! MINE! NO! NO, AHH! HELLO, POLICE? SOMEONE JUST STOLE
MY WIFE’S CAKE. SO, THE SUSPECT’S ABOUT
5’9″ AND HE STOLE YOUR CAKE? MY CAKE. STOLE MY WIFE’S CAKE. HE WAS AN ADULT, BUT
THE WEIRD THING WAS HE SOUNDED LIKE
A LITTLE KID. HUH, OKAY. WHAT WAY DID HE GO? HE WENT THAT WAY. THEY’RE TALKING
ABOUT BOBBY. NOT CAKE. REMEMBER WHAT HE DID
AT MOM’S BIRTHDAY? HE ATE HALF AND STORED
THE REST IN HIS DIAPER AND WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE CANDLES. WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW
WE’RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK NOW. WHERE COULD HE
HAVE GONE NEXT? YOUR BROTHER LEAVES A
PRETTY BIG FOOTPRINT. WE GOTTA FIND HIM. LET’S KEEP
LOOKING, COME ON. [PIANO MUSIC] ♪ ♪ BOBBY! UGH, WHERE IS HE? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. HOW IS THIS MY FAULT? I’M NOT THE ONE WHO
MADE HIM THIRTY YEARS OLD. ‘CAUSE YOU LOST HIM. NO ONE CAN COUNT ON YOU,
YOU STILL THINK YOUR TEN. I DON’T GET WHAT THE
BIG RUSH IS TO GROW UP. WELL, IT’S NOT LIKE
YOU CAN AVOID IT. I’VE DONE A PRETTY
GOOD JOB SO FAR. HA, YEAH, RIGHT…
UM, WHO LOST YOUR BROTHER? YOU’RE SUPPOSED
TO BE ON MY SIDE. OKAY, ALL I’M SAYING IS THIS
LITTLE TOAD HAS A POINT. SHE JUST CALL ME A TOAD? SHOE FITS, WEAR IT. WHAT’S THE POINT? YOUR SOCIAL
LIFE IS ME, OKAY? THE GIRLS DON’T EVEN INCLUDE
YOU IN ACTIVITIES ANYMORE. WELL, MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO
BE PART OF THEIR ACTIVITIES. AVERY! COME ON, PRINCESS,
LET’S KEEP LOOKING. BOBBY! MEANY. BOBBY! SARGEANT!
-CAPTAIN. BEEN A LOT OF CALLS ABOUT
SOME CHARACTER OVER IN GULLIVER PARK. APPARENTLY HE’S STOLEN
A COUPLE’S CAKE AND THEN EMPTIED ALL THE CHANGE
OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN. ALL THOSE WASTED WISHES. I KNOW, I KNOW. I’LL LOOK INTO IT. SPIT OUT THE GUM. AND WHOEVER ATE THE
LAST JELLY DONUT, JUST PICK YOURSELF
UP AND GO HOME! [JAZZ MUSIC] GIVE. [UPBEAT MUSIC] ♪ ♪ [HOSPITAL INTERCOM] ♪ ♪ IS THE PATIENT READY? YEAH, I THINK WE’RE
ALL GOOD TO GO HERE. GREAT. HI. [MIXED YELLING] AHH! DOES ANYONE SEE
FLYING CHEESE DOODLES? BOBBY’S BIG. POOPY? [MIXED SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] THE SUSPECT LEFT THE HOSPITAL. LAST SEEN HEADING TOWARDS
THE PARK. TEN-FOUR. HE’S TALKING ABOUT
BOBBY. COME ON. NO, TEN-FOUR. I HAVE
NOT SEEN HIM YET. NO, STILL NO. [YELLING]
HEY! HEY! [YELLING] [CATCHING BREATH]
NO, I LOST HIM. I LOST HIM. [JINGLING CHANGE] [CLAPPING] MONEY. THIS OLD MAN, HE PLAYS ONE HE PLAYED KNICK,
KNACK ON HIS THUMB WITH A KNICK, KNACK PADDY
WACK, GIVE A DOG A BONE, THIS OLD MAN COMES ROLLING– OH, MONEY! GIVE A DOG A BONE. THIS OLD MAN CAME GOING HOME. THIS OLD… MONEY! THIS OLD MAN,
HE PLAYS TWO! WELL, WELL, WELL,
AREN’T YOU TALENTED? THANK YOU. MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE ON TV. AH, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO BE ON TV? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. OKAY, WELL COME WITH US AND
WE’LL GET YOU ON TV, OKAY? HEY, GET AWAY
FROM MY BROTHER. I DON’T SEE YOUR BROTHER. I SEE A THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN WHO
MAKES DECISIONS ON HIS OWN. HE’S NOT THIRTY YEARS OLD. CLEARLY, HE LOOKS LIKE IT. IT’S COMPLICATED. WHY DON’T YOU RUN ALONG? BOBBY, COME HERE. NO, HE’S MINE.
-NO, HE’S MINE. OH, REALLY?
BECAUSE HE’S MINE! NO, HE’S MINE. HEY, YOU CAN’T DO
THAT TO A LITTLE KID! MISS, DO NOT INTERFERE
WITH AN ARREST. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,
HE’S TWO YEARS OLD. TWO? WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING HIM? I’LL GIVE IT TO MY KID. YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR
STEALING CAKES, STEALING PENNIES, AND DISTURBING
THE PEACE IN A HOSPITAL. COME ON. BOBBY!
-BOBBY! BYE, BABIES. JASON! HELP BOBBY! DON’T WORRY, BOBBY, WE’LL
FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. WAIT, DID HE JUST
CALL OUT YOUR NAME? WE’VE GOTTA FIND GRANDPA. JUST TAKE IT EASY, OKAY? HE DIDN’T CALL
OUT MY NAME. I MEAN, I’M HIS BIG SISTER. [PHONE RINGING] GRANDPA? AVERY, YOU GOT HIM? NO, THEY ARRESTED HIM. WHO? BOBBY. OH, GREAT. UH, ALRIGHT, WE HAVE
NO TIME TO WASTE. YOU’VE GOT TO REMEMBER THAT
WE ONLY HAVE THREE HOURS TO REVERSE HIM OR HE WILL STAY
A THIRTY YEAR OLD FOREVER. WE’VE ONLY GOT THREE
HOURS BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. COME ON, LET’S GO! HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? MMM! WOULD YOU QUIT THAT? KNOCK IT OFF. SIT DOWN.
-IT TICKLES! WE’VE GOT YOUR
PICTURE TO TAKE. [LAUGHING] I CAN TASE YOU
IN A HEARTBEAT. NO, I LIKE BEING TICKLED. YOU, SIR, ARE A FREAK. NO, BOBBY BOOP! JUST SIT STILL.
JUST SIT STILL. JUST SETTLE DOWN. I HAVE NEVER HAD A
PRISONER THAT’S THIS HARD TO PROCESS BEFORE. STOP IT! WELL, YOU NEVER ARRESTED
LINDSAY LOHAN I TAKE IT. BAD, HUH? BUT NICELY QUAFFED.
-OH, I’LL BET. YOU KNOW, I’LL BET WHOEVER
CAN HANDLE THIS GUY IS GONNA BE UP
FOR A PROMOTION. FELLAS, HOW’S
EVERYTHING GOING? FINE, DETECTIVE. FELLAS? SORRY, IT’S THE UNIFORM. YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE YOU
COULD USE A LITTLE HELP? OH, BE MY GUEST. YEAH, WHY DON’T YOU
STEP IN, DETECTIVE? ALRIGHT. HEY PAL, LET’S HAVE A
LITTLE CHAT, SHALL WE? [MEOWS] YEAH.
[MEOWS] [JAZZ MUSIC] GOOD WORK. [CHUCKLES]
YEAH. THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. NAH, THIS’LL BE GREAT. OKAY. SO, WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT
THING YOU GOT WRAPPED AROUND YOU THERE? MINE. YEAH, I KNOW IT’S YOURS. LOOK, I’M NOT BUYING
THIS WHOLE ACT. THIS WHOLE SLOW WHITED
THING YOUR DOING. I SAW THAT KEVIN
SPACEY MOVIE. IT, UH… YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN’T REMEMBER
THE NAME, BUT I SAW IT. YOU A KAISER SANDWICH? [LAUGHS]
YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M SEEING RIGHT
THROUGH YOU, BUDDY. YEAH, I THINK THIS
WHOLE PENNY STEALING, CAKE SNATCHING
IT’S ALL AN ACT. NO ID, NO COVER,
WHAT ARE YOU? PART OF SOME SECRET SPY CELL
DROPPED IN TO CAUSE HAVOC? WHAT’S HAVOC? YOUR MIDDLE NAME. NO, IT’S CLANCY! YEAH? GUESS WHAT? I’M GONNA
BREAK YOU BY THE CLANCY. THAT’S RIGHT.
YOU’RE ALL MINE. HEY… HEY! HEY!
[CLAPS] WHAT IS THIS? HEY! YOU’RE GONNA BREAK ME?
HURT BOBBY? I’M NOT GONNA
BREAK YOU IN HALF. THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID. LOOK, IT WAS FIGURATIVE. NO, NO! I WANNA GO HOME NOW. OH! OKAY, YEAH!
AND NOW WHERE’S HOME? NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
-I DON’T KNOW! OKAY, HEY! LOOK, I’M ALL IN. YOU WANNA DANCE? LET’S DANCE.
-DANCE? RING AROUND THE ROSIE,
POCKET FULL OF POSIES, ASHES, ASHES,
WE ALL FALL DOWN! [TABLE THUDS] [KEYS CHIME]
HMM! [PIANO MUSIC] HAPPY. [PIANO MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ YAY, YAY! HI, I’M DR. VERONICA GALEFORCE
AND BOBBY IS MY PATIENT. HE NEEDS TO BE
RELEASED TO ME. HE ESCAPED! UGH! WHAT? HE KNOCKED ME OUT. HE’S SOME
SORT OF SUPER CRIMINAL. OH, COME ON! REALLY? NO ID, NO HISTORY, YOU
DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. I WANT THIS GUY IN SOLITARY
BY THE END OF THE NIGHT. HE’S PUBLIC
ENEMY NUMBER ONE. YOU LET YOUR
PRISONER ESCAPE? HE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD,
I’LL MAKE IT RIGHT. I SUGGEST YOU DO. OKAY, WE HAVE AN ESCAPEE
IN THE VICINITY. WE NEED TO NAIL THIS BUM. HE ANSWERS TO BOBBY. HE’S, UH, 5’9″, BROWN
HAIR, BROWN EYES. [CLEARS THROAT]
EXCUSE ME. PERP’S DOCTOR. RIGHT, YOUR BOBBY’S DOCTOR.
CAN I SEE SOME ID? THIS IS A LOSING TICKET
FROM THE DOG TRACK! WHAT– WHO ARE YOU TWO AND
WHY ARE YOU HERE? WE ARE MENTALLY ILL AND
SIMPLY OUT FOR A STROLL. WE HAVE TO GET
THAT MACHINE. OH LOOK, OVER THERE! BOBBY! ARE YOU OKAY? [LAUGHING]
HI! HI! I WANNA GO HOME. OKAY, LET’S GO. NO! NO! NO! [MIXED CHATTER] LET’S FOLLOW THEM. WHAT DO WE DO? WE HAVE THEM RIGHT
WHERE WE WANT THEM. BUT HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? THEY’VE GOT THE KID,
THEY’VE GOT THE MACHINE, WE’VE GOT NOTHING. JUST LOOK IN THE BACK. YEAH, I WENT TO THE
STORE, GET IT? YEAH, YOU’RE PRETTY
AND YOU’RE SMART. AWW, YOU’RE JUST SLOW. THANK YOU.
-YEAH, SLOW. WHAT? GREAT. WE’LL KNOCK EM OUT
AND GRAB THE BIG BABY. OH, OH! CAREFUL, CAREFUL! IT’S EXPANDED AROUND HIM. WELL, DON’T WE HAVE TO
GET IT OFF OF HIM? MAYBE NOT. I NEED TO REFER TO MY BOOK, REVERSING THE AGE OF
MOLECULAR STRUCTURES. I BET THAT WAS A
REAL BEST SELLER. I HEARD THAT. WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU, KID? ARE YOU KIDDING?
LOOK AROUND YOU. IT’S JUST A LITTLE CHAOS. I DON’T DO CHAOS, I’VE
NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE. WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE SO
PERFECT JUST ALL THE TIME? BECAUSE I WANT A FUTURE. WHAT KIND OF
FUTURE DO YOU WANT? POLITICS. YOU’RE GONNA NEED A
BIGGER BAG THAN THAT. OKAY, HERE IT IS. I HAVE TO REVERSE THE
POLARITIES AT HALF THE SPEED IN AN
ADVANCIUM MODE. AND THEN THERE WAS
SOMETHING ELSE I FORGOT. UMM… YEAH, WELL,
WE GOT IT. JASON, GIVE ME A HAND. OKAY? ALRIGHT. WE HAVE TO RESET THE
DEVICE SO WE’RE GONNA TURN THE DIALS AT THE
PRECISE MOMENT TOGETHER. GRANDPA, I COULD HELP. SWEETHEART, WE CAN’T
MAKE ANY MISTAKES. RIGHT, AND I’M
COMPLETELY INCAPABLE. NO, I DIDN’T SAY THAT. IT’S FINE, I KNOW WHEN
I’M NOT NEEDED WHICH IS BASICALLY ALL THE TIME. AVERY. JUST DON’T WORRY ABOUT
HER, SHE’LL BE FINE. YEAH, BUT I DO WORRY. ALL THE TIME. [DOOR CLOSES] UNBELIEVABLE. YOU IDIOT! YOU RUINED MY SHOES! COULD YOU FORGET
ABOUT THE SHOES? YOU KNOW, WHEN WE GET
THAT MACHINE YOU CAN BUY THE WHOLE PRADA LINE. OH, GOOD POINT. LET’S FACE IT, YOU DON’T
HAVE MANY OF THOSE COMING OUT OF YOUR PIEHOLE. NOW, LET’S SEE IF IT WORKS. HOW WILL WE
KNOW IF IT WORKS? LET’S SEE… [SPRAYING] GREAT. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? STOP NAPPING ON THE JOB. WHAT HAPPENED? LET’S GO GAS THEM. DID YOU GAS ME? YEAH, SO? NOTHING. JUST A SIMPLE
QUESTION BETWEEN TWO ADULTS WHO LOVE EACH
OTHER, YOU KNOW, HUSBAND AND WIFE BANTER. IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP, I’M GONNA
EMPTY THIS TANK UP YOUR NOSE. NO, I WOULDN’T
WAKE UP FROM THAT. OH, GOD, WHY DO I HAVE A
THING FOR STUPID MEN? PROBABLY BECAUSE
YOUR FATHER’S A MORON. I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT YOUR
CHILDHOOD, WHICH BY THE WAY, WAS SO DISTURBING. I HAVEN’T– SHUT-UP. NOW TURN ON THE TANK
AND DO IT SLOWLY. WHAT’S GONNA
HAPPEN TO THEM? THEY’LL BE LIKE KNOCKED OUT
FOR THIRTY MINUTES OR SO. IT’S A GOOD THING WE
DIDN’T GET THE POISON GAS. YEAH, NO. I WANTED TO GET
THAT, BUT IT’S SO EXPENSIVE. WHAT?
-WHAT? [GAS LEAKING] ALRIGHT, YOU READY? OKAY, THIS IS PRECISE,
YOU CAN’T MAKE A MISTAKE. RIGHT.
-ALRIGHT. ON MY COUNT OF THREE WE
TURN THE DIALS VERY SLOWLY. OKAY, SO IS IT ON
THREE OR AFTER THREE? WHAT? IS IT ONE, TWO,
THREE AND THEN TURN? OR IS IT ONE, TWO, AND THEN ON
THREE, YOU DO THE BIG TURN? THAT ONE.
-GOT IT. GOOD.
-ON THREE! I’M SO WHIPPED.
I GOTTA LIE DOWN. [SNORING] OKAY, HERE WE GO.
ARE YOU READY? JA… JA… OH DEAR, OH DEAR. [THUD] YUCK. QUIT FOOLING AROUND.
-I’M NOT. HE’S DEAD WEIGHT. [MUFFLED CHATTER] [GRUNTING] OW! HIS TONGUE!
IT’S IN MY EAR. GET HIM OFF ME!
GET HIM OFF ME! STOP ACTING LIKE A
BOOB AND HELP ME! HE’S HEAVY. IT’S LIKE HE’S
GOT ROCKS IN HIS POCKET. [ROCKS DROPPING] IT’S CAUSE HE DOES.
-WHAT? GET HIM UP. [GRUNTING] CLOSE THE DOOR.
CLOSE THE DOOR. I’M EXHAUSTED. OH, ZAC! OH, ZAC
EFRON! YES, YES… I WILL MARRY YOU. [SNORING] LET’S GO.
-THE TANK. FORGET THE TANK. I PUT A DEPOSIT
DOWN ON THAT TANK. IN A FEW HOURS, YOU’LL BE
ABLE TO BUY ANY TANK YOU WANT. JUST FORGET IT. I’M NOT GONNA BUY A
TANK WITH MY MONEY. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BUY? NEW SHOES, NEW CAR, NEW HUSBAND. OH YEAH, WELL, MAYBE I’LL
JUST GO OUT AND BUY A NEW WIFE. [LAUGHS]
THERE’S NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD FOR THAT. OH YEAH, YOU’RE REAL FUNNY. I AM, I THINK SO. [MOCKING]
OH, I AM, I THINK SO. LOOK, I’M TIRED OF
BEING TREATED… LIKE A LITTLE KID. GUYS? GUYS! BOBBY. OH, WHERE’S BARKLEY? THEY GASSED THEM. BARKLEY, I HOPE
THIS WORKS OUT. [PHONE RINGING] AVERY. HI, MOM. IS EVERYTHING OKAY? I TRIED CALLING GRANDPA,
BUT HE DIDN’T ANSWER. YEAH, THEY WENT ON A HIKE. A HIKE? YEAH. WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU GO? UH, WELL– DON’T TELL ME, YOU’D MISSED
ONE OF YOUR CARTOONS. UGH! HONEY, YOU KNOW… YOU REALLY NEED TO
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I JUST DON’T GET THIS
BABY THING WITH YOU. RIGHT. I’M WORKING ON IT, MOM. WELL, YOU NEED TO. I THINK YOU’RE
JUST JEALOUS. OF WHAT? WELL, WHEN JASON CAME ALONG,
HE WAS SO INDEPENDENT THAT YOU WERE STILL THE BABY. BUT WHEN BOBBY CAME ALONG, YOU
WEREN’T THE LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE. REALLY, MOM? LECTURE NOW? WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT
THIS WHEN I GET BACK. OKAY. LOOK, MOM, I NEED TO GO.
I’M A LITTLE TIED UP. SAY HELLO TO
SPONGEBOB, BYE. I’M TRYING TO SAVE MY BROTHER.
WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM ME? I’LL SHOW HER. RIGHT, BARKLEY? [PHONE RINGING] HEY, HEY, HEY! YOU’RE WELCOME. HEY, WE GOT ANYTHING
ON THAT GUY? GEEZ. NO. NOTHING IN THE DATABASE,
NOTHING ON FINGERPRINTS. WELL, DID YOU DO
A FACIAL MATCH? I’M DOING IT RIGHT NOW,
IT’S A BIG, FAT ZERO. THE GUY’S A GHOST. BOY, WE’VE STEPPED
IN IT THIS TIME. OH, I WOULDN’T
REALLY GO THAT FAR. OH, JILES, COME ON. WE’VE
STUMBLED UPON A BIG FISH. SAYLES, THE GUY TRIED TO STEAL
SOME CAKE AND SOME PENNIES. YEAH, HE’S SMART,
HE’S REALLY SMART. OH, OH, GETTING
ARRESTED IT SMART? LAST TIME I CHECKED, THERE
WEREN’T A LOT OF SMART PEOPLE IN JAIL.
-EXACTLY. HE’S PROVING HOW SMART HE
IS BY GETTING OUT FROM JAIL RIGHT FROM UNDER OUR NOSES. OH, OUR NOSES? NO, I THINK YOU MEAN YOUR NOSE
BECAUSE WELL, YOU LOST HIM. OKAY. CLEARLY, HE WAS SPECIALLY
TRAINED AND I WAS NO MATCH FOR HIS ELITE
ATTACK METHODS. RING AROUND THE ROSIE? THAT… THAT’S AN
ELITE ATTACK METHOD? OKAY, HE DISARMED ME WITH A
CHARMING CHILDREN’S SONG AND THEN, WHAM! NEVER SAW IT COMING. YOU KNOW, I HAVE A THEORY. WHAT? MAYBE HE’S A BUM. JILES, YOU’RE THINKING SMALL,
OKAY? YOU GOTTA THINK BIG. WE ARE AT THE
TIP OF SOMETHING BIG. THIS GUY, HE’S
THE MASTER MIND. I CATCH HIM,
IT’S PROMOTION. REALLY? OH YEAH, I GOTTA MAKE
A NAME FOR MYSELF. I WANNA MAKE CHIEF SOMEDAY. OH, AND AND CATCHING
RING AROUND THE ROSIE, THAT’S YOUR TICKET? YES, JILES, YOU’LL SEE. OH, I CAN’T WAIT. YUP. THE GHOST IS GONNA
TAKE ME TO THE TOP. OH, THIS IS GONNA
BE A DISASTER. WHERE ARE WE GOING NOW? TO GET OUR PAYOFF.
-FROM WHO? DON’T YOU WORRY, I
KNOW JUST THE GUY. YOU BETTER OR
YOU’RE TOAST. I NEED MY MONEY.
-I LOVE YOU. UHHH. OH MY GOODNESS!
-GET HIM OFF OF ME! I CAN’T DRIVE WITH
HIM DOING THAT. WILL YOU BUCKLE UP?
-WOULD YOU MAN UP? [LAUGHING]
LET’S GET THAT MONEY! [LAUGHING] MONEY! WHAT ARE WE DOING UP HERE? WHY AM I TALKING
TO MYSELF? OH MY… WAKE UP YOU IDIOT! WAKE UP.
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING] GOOD MORNING. IT’S NOT MORNING. WHAT… WHAT HAPPENED? I THINK WE WERE
KNOCKED OUT. YOU DON’T SAY STUPID. WHERE’S BOBBY? I DON’T KNOW. ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT, I’M GONNA,
I’M GONNA CHECK THE BACKYARD. [INDISTINCT MUMBLING] AVERY? GREAT. [PHONE RINGING] AVERY, WHERE ARE YOU? I DON’T KNOW. WHERE ARE YOU? I’M IN THE BACK OF A PICKUP.
-WHAT? LOOK, THESE TWO PEOPLE GASSED
OUR HOUSE AND TOOK BOBBY. I SNUCK ON THE BACK
OF THEIR PICKUP. UH, OKAY YOU’RE
ROUNDING BENSON DRIVE. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? I’M TRACKING
YOU ON MY GPS. I TURNED MY GPS OFF. YEAH, WELL, I TURNED IT BACK
ON. I GOTTA KEEP TABS ON YOU. WHY? IT’S A LOT EASIER TO BORROW YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN YOU’RE NOT HOME. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU HAVE A LOT MORE GENEROUS
CLOTHES ALLOWANCE THAN I DO. OKAY, WHATEVER, LOOK
I NEED HELP HERE. OKAY, WE’RE ON OUR WAY. WHAT, WAS THAT AVERY? YEAH, YEAH. OKAY, WHERE ARE THEY? RIGHT HERE. YEAH.
-OKAY, ALRIGHT, LET’S GO. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
-OKAY. TAKE A RIGHT HERE. OKAY, OKAY, I SEE
IT, I SEE IT. I DON’T GET IT. WHY
WOULD THEY WANT BOBBY? CLEARLY INDUSTRIAL SPIES. YEAH, THEY WANT ADVANCIUM AND
THEY PROBABLY HAVE A BUYER. SO THEY CLEARLY DON’T
CARE ABOUT BOBBY. HEY, HEY! DON’T GO TO A DARK
PLACE. THINK POSITIVE! [JAZZ MUSIC] HEY, I’VE GOT A CCTV
HIT FROM THE PARK. ON OUR GUY? YUP, AND LOOK
WHO HE’S WITH. CALAMITY KANE.
I DON’T KNOW THE OTHERS. THEY ARE BREAKING AND
ENTERING AT TOYS R US, ANOTHER ONE AT
ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH AND THIS SUSPECTED ONE
AT MENCHIES YOGURT. OKAY. OKAY, LISTEN UP PEOPLE! I WANNA KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS
OF A CALAMITY KANE. WE FIND HER, WE
FIND OUR PERP. SAYLES. CAPTAIN. YOU’RE USING ALL OUR
ASSETS TO CAPTURE ONE MAN? IT’S SOMETHING
BIG THIS TIME. MMM, HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I HEARD THAT? I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES. YEAH, WELL, I CAN FEEL
A WILD GOOSE CHASE. HE ASSAULTED AN OFFICER. UH HUH, AND IT’S ALREADY MADE
IT ONTO THE WORLD WIDE WEB. WHAT? THAT’S RIGHT.
SHOW HIM, JILES. WHAT’S THIS… SHOULD HE BE?
-STEP ASIDE. LISTEN UP. [COUNTRY MUSIC] [LAUGHTER] WAIT, IT GETS BETTER, LOOK. [LAUGHTER] OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
WHO DID THIS? OKAY, I WILL FIGURE IT OUT.
I HAVE A DETECTIVE SHIELD AND I WILL DO SOME DETECTING
AND WHEN I FIND OUT, IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY. YOU KNOW, YOU’RE MAKING A
FOOL OUT OF THIS DEPARTMENT. ARE YOU CALLING ME FOOLISH? YES. HE CALLED ME FOOLISH. YEAH, WELL… OKAY, YOU TWO JUST WAIT.
I’M GONNA CATCH THIS GUY. YOU’LL SEE.
JUST WAIT. ALRIGHT. THAT BOY DOESN’T HAVE THE
SENSE HE WAS BORN WITH. YEAH, WELL, THAT’S
A LITTLE HARSH. [LAUGHS]
I OUGHTA KNOW, HE’S MY SON. THAT’S RIGHT, NEED ME
TO PAINT YOUR PICTURE? UH, NO. [BRAKES SCREECHING] GET HIM!
-YOU GET HIM. COME ON.
-IT’S LIKE A LOG. [MIXED GRUNTING] WILL YOU HELP ME?
HE’S HEAVY! I’M DOING THIS IN
HEELS, YOU MORON. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. DON’T WORRY, BARKLEY.
HE’LL BE OKAY. COME ON. PUT HIM ON THAT SEAT.
-TURN AROUND. DON’T MOVE. SO, YOU’VE ACQUIRED ADVANCIUM? YES, YES, WE HAVE. VERY IMPRESSIVE. YES, WELL, WE ARE VERY
IMPRESSIVE PEOPLE. [LAUGHING]
[CHOKING] YOU GONNA HELP HIM? NO, MORE MONEY
FOR ME REALLY. [COUGHS] THIS WILL BE NICE LITTLE
SEVERANCE PACKAGE FOR YOU, OAFF. THERE’S GONNA BE A LOT
OF MONEY IN THIS FOR YOU. CAN WE, UH, SEE IT?
[LAUGHS] SURE. [BOBBY MUMBLING] OH, WHO’S THIS GROGGY GUY? OH, THIS ONE HE’S, UH,
CARRYING THE DEVICE. SO, WHAT’S THIS
GONNA SET ME BACK? OH, JUST A TEENCY WEENCY
TEN MILLION DOLLARS. [LAUGHTER] TEN MILLION?
-YES. IS THAT ALL?
-OR TWELVE? HOW CAN YOU
AFFORD THIS, MACON? WELL, LET’S JUST SAY I
KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY INTERESTED IN ADVANCIUM. THEY CARRY THAT IN
THEIR BACK POCKET. BIG POCKETS. WE’VE GOT TO GET
HIM OUT OF THERE. WE’RE RUNNING
OUT OF TIME! I’M SURE MY FRIENDS WILL HAVE
NO PROBLEM WITH THAT PRICE. NOW’S OUR CHANCE. BOBBY, BOBBY, BOBBY! [BARKING] WAS HE HIT BY LIGHTNING? [LAUGHING]
SOMETHING LIKE THAT. WE’VE GOTTA HIDE. OKAY, SO WHAT DO YOU
SAY WE MAKE A DEAL? YES!
-HMM? LET’S DO IT. THIS IS JUST A DOWN PAYMENT. THE REST OF THE CASH IS
JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY. IT COULD BE HERE
IN FIFTEEN MINUTES. PERFECT.
[LAUGHING] WAIT, WHERE’S
THE MERCHANDISE? WHERE IS HE?
-I DON’T KNOW. GO! GO! GET! GET! WHERE’S JASON? I’M HERE, AND I’M GONNA
GET YOU OUT OF THIS. I FEEL FUNNY. CALAMITY? SHE’S ON!
-OKAY, AVERY. I’VE GOT BOBBY. AVERY, WE DON’T
HAVE MUCH MORE TIME. HOW MUCH TIME
DO WE HAVE LEFT? IF WE DON’T START THE REVERSAL
PROCESS IN FIVE MINUTES, BOBBY WILL PERMANENTLY
BE A BIG BABY. OKAY, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? JUST DON’T LOSE BOBBY, OKAY? JUST WAIT FOR US. GRANDPA, I CAN DO THIS. SWEETHEART, THIS
IS VERY DELICATE. YOU CAN’T MESS THIS UP. LOOK, I’M NOT THE ONE
WHO GOT KNOCKED OUT. I GOT HIM BACK. SO PLEASE, JUST TELL
ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO. OKAY. ALRIGHT, THIS IS
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO. TURN THE GREEN DIAL AND THE
BLUE DIAL COUNTER CLOCKWISE AT THE SAME TIME. AND THEN YOU PRESS
34, 44, 27, 8. IT’LL CYCLE THROUGH AND
THEN PUSH THE RED BUTTON. OKAY. BLUE AND GREEN
COUNTER CLOCKWISE. PERFECT. 34, 44, 27, 8.
-THAT’S PERFECT. AND THEN PUNCH
THE RED BUTTON? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THAT’S IT. OKAY. THERE THEY ARE! I GOT A CRAMP! BOBBY, RUN! [YELLS] IT’S A RACE!
-YEAH, IT’S A RACE. I’M GONNA BEAT YOU!
-OKAY. YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. OH! YOU NITWIT! I HATE YOU. [DOG PANTING] WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? [YELLING]
THE DOG’S PEEING ON ME. THE DOG IS PEEING ON ME.
THE DOG IS PEEING ON ME. [BARKING] GET… GET THEM! ALRIGHT, YOU LITTLE
WEASELS, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU DON’T ACTUALLY THINK
SHE’S GONNA ANSWER, DO YOU? WHAT? YOU’RE CHASING A GIRL
YOU WANNA CAPTURE AND YOU’RE ASKING
WHERE SHE IS? SHUT UP! GET THAT BABY! YOU KNOW WHAT?
GET OUT OF MY WAY! JUST SPLIT UP. SPLIT!
-NO, YOU SPLIT UP! CALAMITY KANE’S
PHONE IS ACTIVE. YOU GOT A FIX?
-YUP. LET’S ROLL.
-LET’S GO. [SIRENS WAILING] [UPBEAT MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ COME ON, BOBBY. HAND HIM OVER. DROP DEAD. GOTCHA. FINALLY. [BLOWING RASBERRIES] AVERY, I’M SCARED. [BARKING]
DON’T BE, I’M HERE. YOU’RE BIG SISTER’S NOT GONNA
LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU. OKAY, HERE IT GOES. NO, NO, WE’VE GOT YOU.
STAY OUT OF THE WAY. GET THAT MACHINE! NO! [GRUNTING] WHAT DID YOU DO? TOLD YOU TO STAY
OUT THE WAY. DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDSON
OR GRANDDAUGHTER. IT’S TOO LATE. I
DIDN’T DO IT IN TIME. NO, YOU DID YOUR BEST. I NEVER DO MY BEST
AND YOU KNOW THAT. OH, YOU’RE DR. MCSORLEY. YES, I’M DR. MCSORLEY. I’M THE OWNER OF ADVANCIUM AND
THESE TWO TRIED TO STEAL IT. [LAUGHING] YOU STOLE IT? STEALING, SUCH
A HARSH WORD. WE WERE EXPEDITING
A DEAL FOR YOU. EXACTLY! [CLEARS THROAT] OFFICERS, I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE. THESE TWO PEOPLE KIDNAPPED
MY GRANDSON AND TRIED TO STEAL MY INVENTION. LOOK, A DUCK! YA, NOT SO FAST. OH, UM, THANK GOD
YOU’RE HERE! UM… MY HUSBAND FORCED
ME INTO THIS. SEE, I’M SUNDAY SCHOOL
TEACHER AND UH… HE DRAGGED ME INTO
THIS LIFE OF CRIME. OH…
-SHE’S LYING. THERE, THERE. YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT? OH, TOTALLY! GIVE ME THIS. WHAT? NO,
WAIT, HOLD ON. ALRIGHT, LET’S WRAP THIS UP. NO, LET GO OF HIM! HEY, HEY! INTERFERE,
YOU’RE GONNA BE IN CUFFS, TOO. THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER. RIGHT. NO, NO, SHE’S
TELLING THE TRUTH. THIS DEVICE IS MINE IT
ACCELERATES MOLECULES AND IT TURNED HIM INTO
A THIRTY YEAR OLD. HE’S REALLY ONLY TWO. OH, OKAY. HEY, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR TOY
BACK. TAKE IT TO THE NEXT STAR TREK CONVENTION
YOU’RE GOING TO. LET’S GO.
-NO, NO! DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? BOBBY. BOBBY, WE
WILL FIGURE THIS OUT. HOPE YOU HAVE
A GOOD LAWYER. I DO.
-MHM. [SAD MUSIC] [CRYING] AW, AVERY. BOBBY! [POLICE RADIO] BOBBY! OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE? YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. I’M TRYING TO GROW UP,
IT JUST ISN’T WORKING. AVERY! SOMETHING WRONG? THE WAVE FROM. WHAT? THE WAVE FORM. WHAT ABOUT IT? WHEN YOU ENGAGED THE ADVANCIUM,
THE BIO WAVE HIT BOBBY. BUT BOBBY’S STILL BIG. OF COURSE! HOW COULD
I BE SO STUPID? WHAT? DUE TO THE KREPNER MOLECULAR
THEORY OF REVERSING POLARITIES, IT TAKES LONGER FOR
MOLECULES TO REVERSE THEN FOR THEM
TO MOVE FORWARD. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. YOU KNOW HOW IT TAKES SO
LONG TO MICROWAVE A POTATO? RIGHT, FOREVER. OKAY, AND THEN THE
CHEESE, IT’S A SNAP! SURE. OKAY, THAT’S BECAUSE MOLECULES
SPEED UP AT DIFFERENT RATES AND THEN THEY SLOW
DOWN AT DIFFERENT RATES. SO YOU’RE CALLING
MY BROTHER A POTATO? WELL, LOOSELY. BUT HE’S GONNA BE OKAY. BOBBY IS GONNA BE LITTLE
BOBBY AGAIN. I PROMISE! WELL, WE HAVE TO GET
THE POLICE STATION. COME ON, BARKLEY.
-ALRIGHT. [BARKING] OKAY, YOU GOT MY KEYS?
I GOT MY KEYS. OKAY. ALRIGHT. THAT’S IT, GET
HIM IN. GET HIM IN. LET’S GO! LET’S GO! LET’S GO! HEY, HOLD YOUR PANTS UP.
NO FUNNY BUSINESS THIS TIME. I’M NOT BEING FUNNY. WHOA. YOU’RE GON… YOU’RE
GONNA TALK THIS TIME. MY MOM SAID I WAS
AN EARLY TALKER. HEY, DON’T SMART WITH ME! WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR VOICE? JILES! TAKE HIM. [SNEEZE]
OH MY GOD! AW, JEEZ. THIS IS NEW! ALRIGHT, COME ON. THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.
-GET HIM INTO THREE! I CAN COUNT TO THREE.
-OH, GOOD FOR YOU! ONE, TWO…
-EW! I SEE YOU CAUGHT YOUR MAN. YEAH, I’M TAKING HIM
INTO INTERROGATION. WELL, THEN YOU WON’T
MIND IF I JOIN YOU. NO, NOT AT ALL. IT’S NOT GONNA COME OUT. WE’RE CLOSED. SIT HERE. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING. OOH! CAP’N CRUNCH WITH
CRUNCH BERRIES, PLEASE. YEAH, I DON’T THINK SO. BYE, BYE. UH OH. BOBBY DOESN’T FEEL SO GOOD. OH, BOY, I FEEL FUNNY. I GOT HIM THIS TIME. I HOPE SO.
-YOU’LL BE IMPRESSED. I’D BE HAPPY TO
BE IMPRESSED. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, THIS BETTER BARE SOME
FRUIT, DETECTIVE. HEY, I KNOW A HARDENED
CRIMINAL WHEN I SEE ONE. WOW, THE PRESS MUST BE
HAVING A GOOD DAY. MAN, THATS NOT NOT HOW
YOU EAT AN OREO COOKIE. I GOT HIM RIGHT HERE. WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE. WHO ARE YOU? I’M BOBBY. I TWO. THIS IS YOUR HARDENED CRIMINAL? YOU ARE NOT BOBBY. [STUTTERING]
YES, I MEAN NO. SO, YOU’RE GONNA INTERROGATE A
TWO YEAR OLD? JILES! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO PUT BOBBY IN HERE. I DID. WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN’T
BECAUSE THAT’S NOT HIM. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. SO YOU LOST
THE PRISONER AGAIN, PATROLMAN? DETECTIVE. OH, NO, NO, PATROLMAN. YOU’RE MAKING A MISTAKE, SIR. TELL IT TO YOUR MOTHER. MAYBE I WILL! OOH, CRY BABY! SQUEALER! THAT’S THE WORST CASE OF
SHOWBOATING I’VE EVER SEEN. IT’S NOT MY FAULT. OH, SO IT’S SOME KIND
OF PRACTICAL JOKE. IF IT WAS WOULD IT GO
DOWN BETTER FOR ME? NO. WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO WITH THE KID? FIND SOMEBODY RESPONSIBLE TO
TAKE CARE OF IT. THANK YOU. [MUMBLING]
OKAY. EVERY TIME, BOSS,
EVERY TIME. BOBBY. AVERY, YOU FIXED ME. I TOLD YOU YOU’D BE OKAY. OKAY, I THINK IT’S TIME
TO GET BOBBY HOME. COME ON, COME ON.
-MAMA. WAIT, AM I SEEING THIS RIGHT? AVERY MARBLES,
ARE YOU COOKING? ANYTHING FOR MY
LITTLE BROTHER. I CAN’T POSSIBLY…
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I CANNOT POSSIBLY
SELL YOU ADVANCIUM. IT’S FAR TOO DANGEROUS. NO, NO, NO. IT HAS
SERIOUS IMPLICATIONS THAT I WAS NOT
EXACTLY AWARE OF. NO, NO, I’M TELLING YOU NO! WELL, IF YOU WANNA COME OVER THE
ANSWER IS GONNA BE THE SAME. NO. OKAY. YOU’RE GIVING UP
A LOT, GRANDPA. WELL, I LEARNED A
TOUGH LESSON TODAY. A LESSON THAT THE WORLD DOES
NOT HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY. WELL, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA TELL MOM AND DAD? DON’T WORRY. DON’T WORRY! NOW, THIS HAS BEEN ALL MY FAULT
AND I WILL FACE THE MUSIC. WE’RE BACK. HI, DAD!
-HEY! HI!
[LIPS SMACKING] HI!
-HOW WAS VENTURA? BOBBY!
[MUMBLING] IT WAS GOOD! IT WAS
INCREDIBLE! RIGHT, HONEY? I SLEPT AND ATE
AND SLEPT AND ATE. THAT’S WHAT YOU DO HERE. OH, I’M GLAD YOU’RE BACK,
I’M GOING TO BED NOW. WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM? UH, WHAT? WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM? OH, UH, NOTHING. NOTHING. UH, ACTUALLY THOUGH, I DID… I DID WANNA TALK TO
YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. UMM… WHILE YOU WERE GONE,
WE HAD A LITTLE HICCUP. LITTLE HICCUP.
-A HICCUP? A HICCUP. YOU SEE, I DEVELOPED A
MACHINE THAT CAN ADVANCE THE AGE OF MOLECULES AND I
ACCIDENTALLY TURNED BOBBY INTO A THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN. AND HE WAS ARRESTED, AND WE
GOT HIM BACK, AND REVERSED HIM, AND I’M SORRY, AND
IT’S ALL MY FAULT. [HEAVY LAUGHTER] OKAY!
-DAD. [LAUGHING]
YOU’RE HILARIOUS. THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, SIMON. [DEEP SIGH]
I’M GONNA HIT THE SACK. [INAUDIBLE BABY TALK] YOU WANNA GO TELL
THE BIG BABY STORY? LET’S GO PLAY! I’LL GO TELL
YOU THE BIG BABY STORY, OKAY? OKAY.
-LET’S GO! BYE, GUYS. AVERY’S PUTTING
BOBBY TO SLEEP? APPARENTLY, SO. WELL, THAT’S SO UN-AVERY. WELL, I THINK SHE’S GONE
THROUGH A GROWTH SPURT. YOU THINK YOU’RE PRETTY
SLICK, DON’T YOU, DAD? YES, I DO. HMM, YOU’RE SHOWING
ME UP IN PARENTING. I INVENTED IT. OUR LITTLE GIRL’S GROWING UP.
-MM-HMM. [SIGHS] THE BIG, FAT BABY STORY.
[LAUGHS] YOU USED TO TELL IT TO
ME WHEN I WAS A KID. IT’S A CLASSIC.
-HMM. [PHONE BUZZING] SIMON. UNDERBRUNTER, I TOLD YOU
I’M NOT SELLING IT TO YOU. I DON’T WANT YOU TO. WHAT? WE NEED A GENIUS LIKE YOU
WORKING IN THE COMPANY. I’M OFFERING YOU A HALF A
MILLION DOLLARS CONTRACT A YEAR. IF I TOLD YOU ONCE. I… I’M SORRY, DID YOU SAY A
HALF A MILLION A YEAR? YES! WHAT DO YOU SAY? I’M IN! ALRIGHT, SEE YOU
AT EIGHT O’CLOCK. [LAUGHING] I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE. NOW, I DO HAVE ONE THING
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. WHAT? I CHARGE $2.50 AN
HOUR FOR BABYSITTING. WAIT A SECOND!
-NOW, THERE WERE THREE CHILDREN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY
YOU’RE GONNA BE MAKING NOW? THAT’S $7.50 AN HOUR.
-FORGET IT! THERE ONCE WAS A BABY THAT
WEIGHED EIGHT HUNDRED POUNDS. IT WAS THE BIGGEST BABY
IN THE WHOLE WORLD. ONE NIGHT, HIS PARENTS
WANTED TO GO OUT TO DINNER. SO THEY HAD TO
HIRE A BABYSITTER, BUT THE BABY-SITTER
DIDN’T WANNA DO IT. BUT THEY OFFERED HER
EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS, A DOLLAR FOR EACH POUND. WHICH WAS A
PRETTY GOOD DEAL. UGH, IT SMELLS
LIKE PEE IN HERE. YOU SHOULD CHECK
YOUR PANTS. [SCOFFS]
HOW DARE YOU! I PRIDE MYSELF ON MY PERSONAL
HYGENE UNLIKE YOURSELF. UH, WHATEVER. YOU KNOW, THERE’S ONE GOOD
THING ABOUT BEING ARRESTED. OH, OH, REALLY?
AND WHAT’S THAT? YEAH, I DON’T HAVE TO
PUT UP WITH YOU ANYMORE. NO, NO, NO! SEE, IT’S
THE OTHER WAY AROUND. OH, KEEP TELLING
YOURSELF THAT. YOU KNOW, THE WAY YOU EAT, YOU
CHEW WITH YOU MOUTH OPEN AND ALL THAT STUFF COMES
FLYING OUT. IT’S DISGUSTING! OH, SPEAKING OF DISGUSTING,
YOU THINK IT’S A THRILL SLEEPING NEXT TO YOU? I HAD
TO BUY A BLOODY GAS MASK. YEAH, I KNOW.
MY PLAN WORKED. I WANTED YOU
OUT OF MY BED. OH, YOUR PLAN?
OH, OKAY, YEAH. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? PRISON IS GOING TO BE GREAT. I’LL BE RUNNING THIS PLACE IN
NO TIME. YOU MARK MY WORDS. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP
TELLING YOURSELF THAT. YOU’RE GONNA GET OWNED. [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW, PRISON’S GONNA
SUIT ME JUST FINE. FREE MEALS AND I DONT
HAVE TO GO TO WORK. MAMA. [UPBEAT STEEL DRUM MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [HIGH-PITCHED POP MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [CAMERA BEEPS] [INAUDIBLE CAMERA DIRECTION] MOM, CAN YOU MAKE ME SOME EGGS? AND CAN I HAVE MINE SCRAMBLED? MMM, NAH, HMM. MOM, CAN YOU MAKE ME SOME EGGS? AND CAN I HAVE MINE SCRAMBLED? NO, ACTUALLY AN OMELETTE. [LAUGHING]
THIS LINE. I’M SORRY. CAN YOU MAKE ME SOME EGGS?
AND CAN I HAVE MINE SCRAMBLED? NO, ACTUALLY AN OMELETTE. [LAUGHING]YOU HAD IT.
-I SAID ALL-MITT. [CAMERA BEEPS] UH, YEAH, HE’S
CARRYING THE DEVICE. [BOBBY MUMBLING] SO WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE MAKE A DEAL? YES! [BOBBY MAKING NOISES]OKAY, TURN HIS NOSE.[BABY NOISES] [LAUGHTER]YOU DID GOOD, TIM.
YOU HELD IN THERE.
OH!
-SLICK. I KNOW, IT’S ALWAYS THE
NOSE BIT THAT GETS ME. [CAMERA BEEPS] [COUNTRY MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [JAZZ MUSIC] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

100 Comments

Lisa Drottar

Jun 6, 2017, 4:24 pm Reply

Great fun watching this movie. A good family movie that I am sharing…. right…now. 🙂

Mohammad Shahid Raza

Jan 1, 2019, 8:37 pm Reply

Had a great fun
Thanks 😊

jessica jones

Jan 1, 2019, 5:24 pm Reply

Litteraly had to skip to the end so I could at least watch the end before I went to sleep

Sherly Yamamoto

Jan 1, 2019, 9:44 am Reply

ママもみて

Neha khan

Jan 1, 2019, 11:03 am Reply

Nice movie 😂

Donna Bettencourt

Jan 1, 2019, 11:32 pm Reply

It's ok seen better movies lol

Rose Mary Busingye

Jan 1, 2019, 8:21 pm Reply

I just loved the baby really cute

ZionHillCalling

Jan 1, 2019, 12:16 pm Reply

I thought I was watching a young Brendan Frasier there..

ZionHillCalling

Jan 1, 2019, 12:23 pm Reply

I would love to punish that Brittish chick so bad!

star girl

Feb 2, 2019, 4:36 am Reply

Wat a good movie to watch😄

Jhanneth Bello

Feb 2, 2019, 2:39 pm Reply

So FUNNnnn

Kesialy Curato

Feb 2, 2019, 12:28 pm Reply

Nice movie. I enjoyed it. ❤️

rocano daliman

Feb 2, 2019, 2:59 pm Reply

I know that is fake,but it is still a fun movie

xxxcookiiee xxx

Feb 2, 2019, 5:13 am Reply

The girl reminds me of Kimmy Gilber

Ayesha Gull

Feb 2, 2019, 9:15 am Reply

Nice family movie 🤣🤣😂

Говхер Нарбаева

Feb 2, 2019, 2:41 pm Reply

I watched this movie when I was child. It's so funny)))

Nicky Barnes

Feb 2, 2019, 12:51 am Reply

Love Jason he's a sweet kid. 😊

Brenda Laniece

Feb 2, 2019, 2:01 am Reply

25:25 😂 "ice cream"

Brenda Laniece

Feb 2, 2019, 2:05 am Reply

27:55 💀

이승민

Feb 2, 2019, 2:08 pm Reply

1:21:38

jamieseiple

Feb 2, 2019, 1:54 am Reply

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! (Brady that is)

Maria Barba

Mar 3, 2019, 4:33 am Reply

I wanna see a before and after to this movie

James Storks

Mar 3, 2019, 1:26 am Reply

Bobby must be traumatized 4life after that experience 😂

Judine Miller

Mar 3, 2019, 3:48 am Reply

up it is nice up bad

Isaiah Georges

Mar 3, 2019, 8:08 am Reply

It hurts me that a grown man actually auditioned to lose his dignity 🤦

Naifah Malawani

Mar 3, 2019, 4:38 pm Reply

Mama! 😅😅

Cliff Apache

Mar 3, 2019, 9:13 pm Reply

Read all the positive comments before watching this CHEESY MOVIE.and I feel after 25 minutes of watching like maybe some of y'all have lost a few brain cells.

Ray Mark Celespara

Mar 3, 2019, 10:35 am Reply

Watching this 2019, the girls in this movie are so all pretty

Fifi G

Apr 4, 2019, 8:13 pm Reply

No bad words I like it‼️

Matthew Uriarte

Apr 4, 2019, 11:24 am Reply

why does the bratty teenager look like my cousin I MEAN REALLY ALIKE

Katie Bokhari

Apr 4, 2019, 9:06 pm Reply

Love it 💙

CajunByBlood

Apr 4, 2019, 8:02 am Reply

"We are mentaly ill and are simply out for a stroll" best line ever

Ruth Cordle

Apr 4, 2019, 7:20 pm Reply

Ruth is happy

Vanessa Smith Campos

Apr 4, 2019, 2:00 am Reply

No homework lol lol lol.

max devil

Apr 4, 2019, 8:56 am Reply

Beautiful girls with beautiful Bob with beautiful family movie 🌃

FAYEZA MASHKOOR

Apr 4, 2019, 7:06 pm Reply

kind of boring

Videsh Ramsahai

Apr 4, 2019, 8:26 pm Reply

loved the show make a next one of the show

Josephina Joseph

Apr 4, 2019, 6:24 am Reply

And so it all happened in a day

Regina Moore

Apr 4, 2019, 2:06 am Reply

😂😂😂💋💋💖💖

Kyle Barnes

Apr 4, 2019, 1:40 am Reply

So cheesie

Candell Simon

Apr 4, 2019, 3:23 am Reply

Crap I think am in love …………..with this movie ✌✌😅😅😅

Jamarcuslynn Williams

Apr 4, 2019, 5:14 am Reply

She said not going to be 2 forever

meklish haymanot

Apr 4, 2019, 1:47 am Reply

Quality 👌👌👌💖💖

joshua abid

Apr 4, 2019, 3:15 am Reply

Maybe next time you will upload with subtitle.

Daniel Q. Silberberg

Apr 4, 2019, 11:48 am Reply

40:30🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 hahavava

Dakshitha Chetha

May 5, 2019, 7:50 am Reply

Wow..soo nice…i love pretty babyy..😘😁

Karen Gunn

May 5, 2019, 9:32 pm Reply

what a load of rubbish, they tried to copy honey i blew up the baby, but they went wrong while filming

Lanie Sardua

May 5, 2019, 2:58 am Reply

This is a nice movie and funny to.😂😂😂

Tùng Nguyễn

May 5, 2019, 7:15 am Reply

Tuyệt vời

Jomar Magalona

May 5, 2019, 3:54 pm Reply

I hate that 2 bastards keep on following them

Lolly Pop

May 5, 2019, 6:03 pm Reply

cheesy acting

Shermz Goodz

May 5, 2019, 11:21 pm Reply

After 35:00 mns I realise this is not funny.

Vysakh va

May 5, 2019, 7:54 pm Reply

Bad movie

Moreno Gonzalez

May 5, 2019, 1:09 am Reply

I didn't watch the whole movie just an half of movie

Iamthewatchman Cathie

May 5, 2019, 4:49 am Reply

I wouldn't recommend it.

Michaela Jacobs

May 5, 2019, 5:22 pm Reply

Love it 😍

Candie Sullivan

May 5, 2019, 10:47 pm Reply

I'm a kid is this a real thingamagicer

LITTLE MRS. FABULOUS!

May 5, 2019, 6:32 pm Reply

Kicking back and listen to one direction 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jed Martin

Jun 6, 2019, 12:35 am Reply

A new director, please.

why can’t we just get along blahblah

Jun 6, 2019, 10:43 pm Reply

I'm late❤I'm here now❤ I always have my popcornFlix love them movies thank you😉

Divine Solis

Jun 6, 2019, 11:12 am Reply

I love it!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Jeje Nunez

Jun 6, 2019, 11:38 am Reply

Nice movie 😂🤗❤️😃👏

music by katlin

Jun 6, 2019, 10:11 am Reply

It was a great movie

Lily Raphael

Jun 6, 2019, 10:31 pm Reply

This is nice.

Mariah Francois

Jun 6, 2019, 2:53 am Reply

I've see this when am I was younger I hate her friend always want her cloths

shua sensai

Jun 6, 2019, 5:15 am Reply

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

S Samyuktha

Jun 6, 2019, 2:56 pm Reply

WOW! I really enjoyed it!

Rina Nayar

Jul 7, 2019, 10:04 am Reply

Wow…Bobby is so cute 😍☺️

Lorraine Crumley

Jul 7, 2019, 1:17 pm Reply

The grandad seems like a pedo changing men and sneaking in to young girls rooms even when the parents said he wasn't allowed to ahaha

Tarannum Gayen

Jul 7, 2019, 5:57 pm Reply

Very funny movie, had a great fun 🙂🤗,thanks

Shelia Paige

Jul 7, 2019, 4:11 am Reply

Love the flowers💐🌹🥀🌷🌺🌸🏵️🌼🌼💮💐🌹🌷🌷🌺🏵️🌼🌼🌻🌻🏵️🌺🌹🌷💐now ok really good an funny now

Shelia Paige

Jul 7, 2019, 4:35 am Reply

Love but look like the girl don't want grow now like she don't think right now,😱😫🤢🤯😢😥😲😳😯😩😫😵😱🤔🤪🤔🤪😒😣😁☺️😅😂🤣😁😄😃😀😱😵to mines commercials commercials now

Kathreen May de la Cruz

Jul 7, 2019, 3:28 pm Reply

R

Gacha Silvermist

Jul 7, 2019, 11:37 am Reply

Hi! May i ask u some question?
How to put a little pic beside the zoom button

Rey Pansacala Pacatang

Jul 7, 2019, 4:38 am Reply

WOW it's ba nice movie …
Recommended!!!!

Please Subscribe to my YouTube channel thanks!!
More power

Mia Sky world

Jul 7, 2019, 5:59 pm Reply

Anyone here in July or August

Natalie Balkaran

Jul 7, 2019, 3:58 am Reply

I like the movie but the police are mean

SHAJAHAN EP

Jul 7, 2019, 4:00 pm Reply

Wasting time guys

memo lyngkh

Jul 7, 2019, 4:32 pm Reply

He looks like Brendan Fraser

Howard Dusek

Jul 7, 2019, 1:09 am Reply

Marcia Marcia Marcia!!!!

Mizarah Hye

Aug 8, 2019, 9:00 am Reply

The seed came from a yellow flowers. But the invention has turned it into red flowers.😊

mackenzie TV

Aug 8, 2019, 3:25 am Reply

Sa wakas nakita narin kitta

Aly Jiselle

Aug 8, 2019, 9:46 am Reply

The daughter looks like a Bitmoji avatar.

Shaune Pratt

Aug 8, 2019, 6:18 am Reply

God this movie sucked…negative a trillion stars. All thumbs in the world down. Awful awful awful. That dude was irritating AF

Mykah Cummings

Sep 9, 2019, 1:26 pm Reply

Wow but this is full screen

no name

Sep 9, 2019, 9:01 pm Reply

The only reason I didn't shut this off is that I like Maureen McCormick. But I had to fast forward through quite a bit of the middle of this movie. I can't recommend. B- – – movie. The main problem is in the writing and directing.

Jaylen Thompson

Sep 9, 2019, 1:53 am Reply

They keep talking cant start the movie

Kay C.

Sep 9, 2019, 6:16 pm Reply

Like an after school special movie…Nice to see…Marsha Marsha Marsha…Thanks

unicorn1 unicorn

Sep 9, 2019, 8:44 am Reply

I was eating and then they said there was poo on his head and I was about to gag

Mar Solasco

Sep 9, 2019, 2:40 pm Reply

September 17 2019 10:41pm philliphines

blush tiwana

Sep 9, 2019, 7:20 am Reply

Beautiful movie

kiing lyric

Sep 9, 2019, 10:22 pm Reply

dwl

Ariel fangirl Mendez

Sep 9, 2019, 7:22 am Reply

This movie reminds me of that one episode of sabrina the teenage witch

Talha Mushtaq

Sep 9, 2019, 7:25 am Reply

Ot seems its a girls movie

2013rattler

Sep 9, 2019, 9:51 pm Reply

Is this a shitty version of Big

shaneil ellis

Oct 10, 2019, 4:18 am Reply

This movie is a shit show

Hey It’s Me Jea M

Oct 10, 2019, 8:59 am Reply

Thank you for this ❤

Bae Kieyshia

Oct 10, 2019, 12:04 am Reply

Bobby 2 years: not so wild
Bobby 30yo: very very wild

Jeremy Thomas

Oct 10, 2019, 8:53 pm Reply

Good for 8-12 yr olds.

Jeremy Thomas

Oct 10, 2019, 8:56 pm Reply

Alana Baer is beautiful!

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